Chapter 8 - Pop Tarts

Crazy Larry had twelve types of mustard in his refrigerator. That, along with three types of hot dogs and two types of buns made for an interesting evening last Tuesday. Actually, he only had one type of hot dog bun and the other was a makeshift bun in the form of a large flour tortilla. Larry was a hungry fellow and was not to be interrupted during his mustard tasting event. Since his recovery from the passing out episode at work, Crazy Larry was left free to his own devices on his employer’s suspicion that he would be able to wholly entertain himself and not entertain any ideas of pursuing a lawsuit either against his employer or against the pharmaceutical company that shipped the poorly designed medical containers. They knew him too well and they were right.
The first thing Larry did when he left the emergency room was head to the grocery store to select his mustards. He figured he could explain away his passing out at work by claiming that it was something in his lunch as opposed to something he may have dropped or damaged. But, he had to find out which mustard would give him the worst reaction.
Not only was Crazy Larry an odd person, but he was also a very caring person. He didn’t want to hurt anybody’s feelings and felt that if he could blame himself for passing out, the government wouldn’t take out too much of his taxes on his next check and his boss at work wouldn’t get mad at him for making the big box leak.
To sum up, Larry and his boss each wanted the other to look the other way and forget that anything unusual had happened. Jack on the other hand was painfully aware of what was going on because his sense of paranoia had been tingling since he was assigned the extra holiday work shifts. Other co-workers were also aware because they would be the ones trying to convince Larry that he had the right to sue, but they also knew that Jack was going to actually do something about it.
Jack knew that Crazy Larry had a thing for Pop Tarts even though he wasn’t allowed to use the toaster at his mother’s house. Jack picked up a package of some frosted chocolate-filled Pop Tarts and headed over to Larry’s mother’s house. He had to let Larry know that he was going to help him.
“Hey Jack…boy, you need a haircut!” Larry’s mother said as she greeted him at the doorway.
“I got some Pop Tarts here….is Larry around?” asked Jack.
“He in the kitchen playin’ with his mustards again.” She said.
“Mind if I talk to him?”
“You the only one he listens to…go on…see if you can get something through to him.” She sighed.
Jack smiled and went inside toward the kitchen and saw Larry at the table surrounded by his vast assortment. He shook the box of Pop Tarts before entering the room to get Larry’s attention. Larry gave Jack a big toothy grin and asked Jack to pull up a chair and put on a plastic bib. Jack thought to himself that he was going to need a gallon of beer to wash this shit-ass situation down.